Dinner
Yesterday Sat and Meg invited some of us over for dinner. It was fun, and we finally finished at 2am. Most of what happened cannot be put into print, mostly because I can't remember it. (Otoh, some of it was confidential academic gossip, and therefore wouldn't be written down even if my memory wasn't colanderous.)
A: How does the process for submissions work?
B: It consists of C asking D to submit something, and D asking when, and C giving an artificial deadline which he then promptly and unerringly forgets.
(I won't write down what this is the submission process for.)
I can remember some of the things that were said that we thought were funny at the time. This clearly had more to do with delivery, inebriation, and sleep deprivation, than any genuine humor.
Somehow we got onto the topic of things with India-induced names, like the Indian Ocean (which is now called the Sri-Lankan-Madagascaran Ocean, or Slama Ocean for short). I said that "...the Windies have nothing to do with India. They were originally called the Westward Independent Islands, which then got contracted to the Windies."
I then buried his face in my glass of rioja. Everyone around the table was taken aback, with internal thoughts of "I didn't know that" and "That' a lot of absolute tosh" fighting for attention. Finally Jez said "Is that true?" If he hadn't said it, Meg would have done so 0.5 seconds later.
My nose was still in the glass of rioja.
"No." I gurgled.
We moved on.
Var had, somehow, come up with the idea of what would happen if the entire population of India pissed on Tuebingen. This had led to general eye-rolling, till she produced some numbers.
Var: Fine, suppose a billion people let off a half-litre of pee each, over an area of 50 square kilometres.
Me: Sounds like serious pissipation here. (Cackles, complaints, apologies, all follow.)
Var: Come on! Half a billion litres, over 50 million square meters!
Me: You want us to do math without a computer?
Meg: There's a thousand litres in a cubic metre.
Var: So it's 0.5 million cubic metres over 50 million square meters.
Of course, this amount of piss would cover Tuebingen to a height of 0.01 metres. Except that yesterday night, our collective minds had decided that it wasn't a centimeter, but a whole meter. Footage from the floods in Mumbai was fresh in our minds. Soon, the Rhine, into which Tuebingen's Neckar dumps its runoff, was called the Urhine.
Sadly, this was actually well received.
A: How does the process for submissions work?
B: It consists of C asking D to submit something, and D asking when, and C giving an artificial deadline which he then promptly and unerringly forgets.
(I won't write down what this is the submission process for.)
I can remember some of the things that were said that we thought were funny at the time. This clearly had more to do with delivery, inebriation, and sleep deprivation, than any genuine humor.
Somehow we got onto the topic of things with India-induced names, like the Indian Ocean (which is now called the Sri-Lankan-Madagascaran Ocean, or Slama Ocean for short). I said that "...the Windies have nothing to do with India. They were originally called the Westward Independent Islands, which then got contracted to the Windies."
I then buried his face in my glass of rioja. Everyone around the table was taken aback, with internal thoughts of "I didn't know that" and "That' a lot of absolute tosh" fighting for attention. Finally Jez said "Is that true?" If he hadn't said it, Meg would have done so 0.5 seconds later.
My nose was still in the glass of rioja.
"No." I gurgled.
We moved on.
Var had, somehow, come up with the idea of what would happen if the entire population of India pissed on Tuebingen. This had led to general eye-rolling, till she produced some numbers.
Var: Fine, suppose a billion people let off a half-litre of pee each, over an area of 50 square kilometres.
Me: Sounds like serious pissipation here. (Cackles, complaints, apologies, all follow.)
Var: Come on! Half a billion litres, over 50 million square meters!
Me: You want us to do math without a computer?
Meg: There's a thousand litres in a cubic metre.
Var: So it's 0.5 million cubic metres over 50 million square meters.
Of course, this amount of piss would cover Tuebingen to a height of 0.01 metres. Except that yesterday night, our collective minds had decided that it wasn't a centimeter, but a whole meter. Footage from the floods in Mumbai was fresh in our minds. Soon, the Rhine, into which Tuebingen's Neckar dumps its runoff, was called the Urhine.
Sadly, this was actually well received.
posted by Dinoj | 12:44
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